What I think, know and believe about the college football world. What happens if Florida wins the SEC Championship and Notre Dame wins the ACC title? All in the College Football Cavalcade.

Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault …

But it does apologize for not using better judgement after being filmed eating sushi off a nude model – the cultured culinary art of Nyotaimori – and it further apologizes for the horrible incident with the wasabi.

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Check out all the past Cavalcades

What Happens If Florida Wins?
I Think, I Know, I Believe
Picks of the Century

I promise, there’s a non-sucky payoff here …

The whole point of college football being played is to have fun, and we’ve had none of that – at least not guilt-free.

Now that we’re just over a month away from – shockingly – getting through this season and moving on to 2021, it’s okay to say it.

This season sucks.

The Big Ten sucks.

Most of the SEC teams suck.

The Pac-12 sucks – but the games don’t.

The Big 12 sucks. (two words: Sun Belt)

The only reason the ACC doesn’t suck – one word: Liberty – is because Notre Dame is in it and doesn’t suck.

Penn State sucks. Michigan sucks. LSU sucks. Oregon sucks. Florida State sucks. Wisconsin sucks – at least the offensive side.

And almost all of the big games have sucked, too.

Alabama at LSU should’ve stopped the sports world in its tracks.


Florida at Tennessee should’ve been a breakthrough moment for the Volunteer program.


Notre Dame vs. Clemson didn’t suck, and DJ Uiagalelei certainly didn’t suck, but it sort of sucked that Trevor Lawrence wasn’t playing.

Oklahoma vs. Texas didn’t suck. Florida vs. Georgia sucked.

Penn State at Michigan didn’t totally suck, but it was sad.

Indiana at Ohio State didn’t suck, but Michigan at Ohio State? Oh, that’s going to triple-suck, and it’ll suck even more if Michigan is unable to go.

It sucks that the Pac-12 has been the most entertaining conference this year by a mile, and no one seems to know the games were played – oh, wait, that has nothing to do with 2020.

It sucks that we have to go through the motions of pretending that Group of Five programs might actually be considered for the College Football Playoff, and it sucks that we all have to be jerkweeds by always pointing out that there’s a difference between playing a schedule full of almost all Power Five programs and a schedule with no games against the big boys.

That last paragraph sucked.

It sucks that we’ll have a Rose Bowl with no fans – if it’s even played in Pasadena – a bowl season with 11 games having to tap out, and a College Football Playoff with just close family members in attendance.

And it sucks that after all of the craziness, all the cancelations, all the disruptions and all the hoops everyone had to jump through to make this season happen, what do we have?

Clemson will win the ACC, Alabama will win the SEC, Ohio State will win the Big Ten, Oklahoma will win the Big 12, and USC will win the Pac-12.

It sucks that we went though all of this only to have a group of Power Five champions that your cousin – “from Bahhh-stin” – could’ve come up with back in March.

Wait … that actually doesn’t suck.

You know what sucks? Cinderella upsets in March Madness. Show me some Central Grand Valley State win in the first round and I’ll show you an 82-48 Duke win in the second round.

Show me a college football outlier in the College Football Playoff mix, and I’ll show you Alabama 38-0 over Michigan State and Alabama 24-7 over Washington.

But all this is about to change.

You, the college football fan, for all of your sins and for all of your infinite patience, have the potential to get the mother of all College Football Playoff debates.

Throw in that America is about to wake up to a whale of a Heisman race – I’ll dive into that next week – and get ready for what’s coming, starting with this one big question.

No, really. What happens if Florida wins the SEC Championship and Notre Dame takes down the ACC?

What happens if Florida beats Bama in a classic, Ohio State wins, and Clemson beats Notre Dame? Only four of these five kids can get on the ride.

I promise, the rest of your 2020 college football season isn’t going to suck.

Let’s go …

What Happens If Florida Wins?
I Think, I Know, I Believe
Picks of the Century

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